I'm one year older, hopefully a little wiser and still single and tired of being so.
And yes I can hear many of you saying " you're still so young" " I have many friends over 30 in the same situation as you", " it will happen when you least expect it" " enjoy your freedoms" etc.
But perhaps ( and no offense) it feels different on the other side of things, when you've got your person, when you have seen it happen for you.
There's been a few disastrous attempts with online dating, lots of getting myself "out there" and phone numbers taken by potentials who never get back to me.
But when everyone you know, all your friends and relatives are in long term relationships and yet I'm still in the same place, it's hard not to doubt, to worry will it ever happen for me,? is there something wrong with me? I know I have a lot of love to give but is that enough , perhaps I'm not this enough or that enough. And at 31 I'm feeling not so happy painting the town red and am wanting to lead a more settled life.
And yes i have my freedoms and I've enjoyed them, but they don't feel like freedoms anymore, they feel like an emptiness and a loneliness, if that makes sense.
I see so much of what so many of you have and I want something like that of my own. A family of my own, not just my family family.
And yes i know i need to keep the faith and not think about it, but sometimes it's hard not too, like tonight.
thanks for letting me vent and for listening.
17 comments:
I wish I knew what to say Jess but I don't... I wish I had a cute funny single friend to send you on a date with too...
Oh Jess - life is just so not fair sometimes. Sending all my love to you - I wish I could give you a hug. XXXJ
Sounds like it totally suxs.
(that's all I can think to say)
Dearest J. I have not forgotten how it feels to unlock a front door and to feel the force of the still and quiet of a night alone. You are every sort of fabulous-wonderful. Don’t forget that. xxx
Oh Jess. I also wish I knew what to say...
Sending you lots of virtual hugs xx
I agree. It doesn't really work when people who have something tell you that you are better off without it. It always sounds hypocritical to me. My big girl is 24 and starting to feel the squeeze too. She is lovely like you but very shy and doubts her future. It's hard. I hope you feel better, at least a little, in the morning. Cherrie
Oh, Jess...sending big hugs and perfect guy vibes!
It is always so hard when life does not give you what you always expected it to. Everyone expects to get a job, find a partner, buy a house and start a family. Unfortunately so often life doesn't give us what we hope or expect. Sometimes that is a good thing, often it isn't. Feeling lonely is a horrible feeling. I enjoyed being single for a couple years of several very bad relationships, BUT, I still felt lonely, despite all the benefits of being without a bad match. It IS better to be on your own than in a bad relationship, but sometimes you have to remind yourself of that A LOT! You are allowed to feel lonely, even those of us in relationships sometimes feel that way. It is expected that you want to share your ups and downs with someone. I really hope you find that person, but until you do, you will have friends and family and bloggy friends to share things with. It might not feel perfect, but sometimes it is enough.
Jess, I totally understand. I am in the same boat. And sometimes I'm okay with it, and sometimes I'm not. I met someone in a professional capacity, and my feelings for this person hit me like a ton of bricks. It's not anything that could work out for me, so I had to see him over and over for almost a year, all the while having these feelings and knowing it's not going to happen. Don't know what worse having feelings for someone that you can't have, or not having someone to think about. You will meet someone and when you do, I hope it will be someone that something can happen with and that he will treat you like a princess!! :0) (P.S. I've never told anyone this story) {{Hugs!}}
Yep, I have a few friends in the same boat. I've thought about this a lot actually and find I keep going around in circles... I don't understand how so many amazing women are still single. I just don't understand it.
Hope you can scream and let all the frustrations out Jess... I'll also be hoping for wonderous surprises for you. Kx
<3 I wish you all the best and love in the world xoxo
When you are sad, I am sad too. Just want to let you know that I'm thinking of you and sending lots of love. Those dumb guys out there just don't know what they are missing, you'll always be the ginchiest to me Jess xo
oh, Jess, I'm not going to try and give you any kind of advice because I just don't know... I do know you are wonderful, though, and I hope you know that you can always talk if you need to xoxo
Big love to you Miss Jess!
It does suck big time. You would be the bestest partner ever. Please Jess's Right be right around the corner. x
Just know that you are ENOUGH!
Hugs.
oh jess. reading this makes my heart ache. feeling this way sucks. why is it that there are so many wonderful, amazing woman out there longing for these things yet still single? where are those mr rights hiding!!!?? xxx
on a completely separate note. i made something you might like. its posted on my blog today. and was made possible all because of you. you were my inspiration.
big hugs x
Oh Jess, It feels so wrong that such a special person like you with all that love to give is still single.
Rescently i read about making a dream box, you get a box, decorate it and fill it with meaningful things which are symbolic of your hearts desire and then write about what it is you desire, asking for help from anything or anyone that is meaningful to you (like deceased loved ones Etc.) You then put the box in a special place and believe in your dream. I haven't tried it on my own heart's desires yet so can't say if it works but wanted to share it as i though you might like it,
big hugs
vicky xxxxxx
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